Lose it dating
“There are people whose parents encouraged them to get liposuction or other plastic surgery to conform to a certain body, to [increase] their chances of getting married."Bateman agrees: “I hear from matchmakers over and over that the number one question men are asking is, ' What size is she? '” And, according to Weiss-Greenberg, not only is the weight of the prospective date of interest, but “people ask the weight of the mother because [they] want to know what [their] future wife will look like.” Ironically, this focus on women's shapes and sizes proliferates even though Orthodox dating itself doesn't allow for physical contact between the sexes. I do believe most women are trying to lose weight in response, [though].”“In the times of the Talmud, there's an example from thousands of years ago that women would wear choker necklaces…to accentuate the fat on their neck, so that they would look healthier, heavier, more affluent, and more attractive,” Devorah Levinson, a referral specialist and the director of eating disorders at Relief Resources, which helps Orthodox Jews find culturally and religiously sensitive mental health services, tells SELF.Currently, Sara is in the thick of the Orthodox matchmaking world. “If we fast-forward to post-World War II, to be thin was to be sick, so [mothers] wanted their Jewish daughters to look heavier.That fear ran through Shelli's* mind when she began formal treatment for her bulimia.Now 29, Shelli tells SELF that after struggling with the disorder on and off since she was 17, it hit her again in her early twenties when she was going through a divorce. “I was thinking, ' No one is ever going to want me because I don't even know how to eat food. How is anyone going to want me if I'm like this?Sarah Bateman, a licensed social worker who is the liaison to the Jewish community for the Renfrew Center, one of the oldest eating disorder treatment institutions in the country, tells SELF that her professional interests stemmed from what she witnessed at her own Orthodox school.“I was in high school and noticed so many of my friends were suffering,” she says.However, she says that she still keeps a “low profile” within her own community, admitting that some of her good friends don’t even know about the eating disorder in her past.“It's a huge struggle, and it's not just about ' I want to be skinny,' ” Shelli says. Please check your email and click on the link to activate your profile.
But much of what we know about disordered eating in the Orthodox community comes from anecdotal evidence.The figures were released as Victim Support, Age UK, the City of London Police, London Metropolitan Police and Get Safe Online said they would work in partnership with the Online Dating Association in efforts to better understand how fraudsters operate and reduce the number of people falling victim to dating fraud.Tips for people using dating websites and apps using the hashtag #datesafe will be shared online.Visit us and sign in to update your profile, receive the latest news and keep up to date with mobile alerts.Click here to return to the page you were visiting.
’”Shelli says she told her now-husband when they were dating, and, though surprised, he was very supportive.